This is where we say goodbye by Howard McKenzie-Murray

‘This is where we say goodbye’ aches with the sorrow and confusion of losing a loved one. Maud spends her 21st birthday hiding in a library toilet, rather than go home to the birthday celebration prepared by her housemate, because how can you celebrate a birthday when the next day you are going to the funeral for your favourite brother? Even worse, how can you have a party, when you are grappling with understanding how your brother took a leap off a bridge? As long as the police divers have not found a body, maybe there can be some kind of pretence that he is still alive somewhere.

The story is told in Maud’s voice as though talking to the reader. She says ‘I honestly don’t know where the frig to start, guys’. And what follows are bizarre thoughts and memories of all kinds of strange scenarios that mix hilarity with desperation. It is comedy and tragedy at the same time. Maud’s manic imagination conjures all kinds of weird excuses rather than face the loss that is eating away at her heart. It is an account of just twenty-four hours, but so much spins out in those hours that it feels like a whirlwind rushing towards the final reckoning with self acceptance.

Howard McKenzie-Murray’s debut novel was one of four shortlisted for the City of Fremantle Hungerford Award 2024. It shows his experience as a playwright bringing voices to the stage. The characters are vivid, endearing, and funny, and will keep you intrigued to read to the end.

Themes: Mental health, Grief, Suicide, Love.

Helen Eddy