Ordinary love by Marie Rutkoski

Ordinary love is actually extraordinary. It’s the love that connects two young girls in high school, is disrupted by an appalling act of rejection by a parent, and then erupts much later in life. It is a love that endures despite the hurt, and matures into a brave loyalty and true understanding.

In the middle there are two different life paths. For Emily it is marriage and two children. For Gen it is Olympic aspirations as a world class athlete. The novel moves around in time, but it is Emily’s marriage to Jack that dominates; and it is here that Rutkowski’s writing excels. She subtly builds the picture of coercive control, where Emily gradually becomes isolated from her friends as her husband bit-by-bit emotionally manipulates her into always doing what he wants. It’s a kind of unvoiced blackmail; Emily learns how his mood can turn to fuming anger if he doesn’t get his way, and she has to adapt her behaviour to stay safe. The picture-perfect husband who showers her in gifts, cooks gourmet meals, and tells her how much he loves her, can turn in a way that others don’t see, and ensures that she always complies. She becomes like ‘a mummified cat’, ‘shrunk into a former version of herself’.

When, later in life, Emily and Gen reunite, the question of honesty and integrity arises again: how to be truthful and fearless in their relationship. For Emily the path is always complicated, by her fear of Jack, her love for her children, and her love for Gen, all ties pulling in different directions.

I found this novel thoroughly absorbing. Love is explored in all its forms. There is mad passionate love for a same-sex lover, heart-tugging love for children, the deep current of love within close family, the love and support of true friends, and even the love for the pathetically needy abuser. In the end, it’s the story of two women, whose gaze never met at the same time, until finally it does.

Themes: LGBTQIA+, Love, Identity, Coercive control, Emotional abuse.

Helen Eddy